Self v.3

This has been a long time putting to keyboard; a thought that has brewed in the back of my mind for over a year now, but something only worthy of a “musings” label. One of the reasons its taken this long to commit even a comment on is that I have a basic problem of going from idea to commitment (ask my wife, she’ll vouch for that with a case history that is staggering).

It all started with the basic thought: I miss the person I used to be. Oh, I know, many get there, especially when you reach the end of your twenties. You remember the kind of person you were when you were a kid, even a teenager, then you realize how much real life bogged you down into a limited context that leaves you with very little time between work and sleep, and what little there is admittedly wasted on things like TV and your Playstation 2 (recent example for me would be Jak 3, not only a little too quick to beat but it ate the better part of all my free time for three days).

So I started thinking, why can’t I be that person again? And that’s where Self v.3 came from. If you consider through adolescence as v.1, your 20’s as v.2, then v.3 is the next logical step. What would I like to see in v.3? A rebirth of v.1 with the lessons learned in v.2. I’d like to see myself be literate again; I’d like to be able to end the day and look back and see something accomplished.

I’ve started to get that feeling lately with Gentoo, but I want more (don’t we all?). I have so many half baked ideas and projects lying around that I know with a little love and attention could actually work. But instead I sit on my duff and do nothing.

I want to quit my bad habits, become a better person, etc., etc.. I want a personal renascence, where there’s no need for a v.4 because it turns out v.3 was the pinacle of the person I could become. The key to this is, of course, actually following through, not putting this off with “well, when I write this tool it will make it easier for me to take care of this,” or setting a start time/date that isn’t the here and now.

At one point I actually sat down and wrote a list of the things I’d like to be able to accomplish in a day, then added in the time blocks for things I am unavoidably commited to already like work and commute (but not sleep), and ended up with a 26 hour day without any sign of rest in it. Nice approach, but I think I have to find a way to be more reasonable on what I want to accomplish.

Shoot, even writing this entry (and if you’ve noticed a discontinuity, here’s why) has taken me the better of a week and I don’t even think it addresses completely what I originally started out to say. I’ll try and revisit this again later, when my mind is clear, clock is empty, and brain cells are willing.

trapped

In case anyone at all cares about the battle against the Squirrel Menace…we finally got someone out here to put down traps. It was a warm, sultry 50 that day. The next day it was below 30 and we got a good 6 inches or more of snow, burrying the traps. Figures. My heart was broken, the squirrel(s) were flaunting their ability to make tracks alongside the traps as they (she?) went in and out of my attic, and I was facing another long, drawn out fight to free my roof. Then yesterday, when the snow melted, I looked up and behold I did see the glory of the trap at work! That’s right kids, we’ve caught ourselves a real, in the fur squirrel. Now to get someone out here to patch that hole before her cronies attempt to move in. Not to mention getting the catcher back out here to remove the scrambling, irate squirrel from our roof.

I again revile squirrells

Anyone who has been bored enough to talk to me at length knows that I have been fighting an on/off battle against squirells at our house. For those faced with this particular dilemma, if it isn’t mating season, fox scent (uncouth folks will refer to this as fox urine) works like a charm. A few dabbles and doses in strategic places (if at all possible, in a location than the squirells so that they think the predator can pounce down on them) works like a champ. Unfortunately, it is currently the start of mating season, and at least one lone squirell has found his way into our lower attic. That space currently smells rather ripe, but it doesn’t seem to be deterring the little rodent, so I’ve finally broken down and called in a “professional,” i.e. someone willing to crawl up there, lay traps, and come back to get them and release them somewhere far, far away. It is my hope that once the traps are laid, we will be able to call someone in to close the hole, and this will be an end to our squirell-escapades. I’m probably wrong, but I think this is the last place they are coming in from. And to think, as a child I loved the little furry bastages. But when you hear one over your head, chewing on your house that you don’t like anyway but gosh darn it you have to pay the mortage and its all you’ve got, you get at least a touch annoyed.