5. You choose to watch Barbie Fairytopia with your kids instead of working bugs
4. You cron a cvs commit to tell you how far behind you are on your packages
3. You write scripts to track, test, and bump ebuilds so that all that is left is for you to nod and commit
2. You go from scorning to chortling when emerge -u is referred to as the gcc screensaver. Alas, if only it worked so consistently you hear yourself mutter
1. You install Ubuntu on your primary desktop because it takes too long to recompile portage (yes, it only takes a minute, that’s the joke…)